76 | COSERE Some elements of communication are easier to “translate” than others. Shouting obscenities, for example, is a dramatic and obvious telltale sign of aggressive communication. Frequent apologizing, on the other end of the spectrum, may indicate a passive style of communication. These verbal “tells” are often accompanied by fewer indicative behaviours, however, the significance of which cannot be overstated. These signs and signals, including facial expressions, body language, gestures, and tone of voice, tend to be more nuanced than their verbal peers, existing as somewhat of a manifestation of the subconscious. Just like verbal communication however, nonverbal cues can be leveraged to achieve a desired outcome. This is especially true in the case of assertive communication, which requires mastering some key nonverbal cues to enhance the overall effectiveness of their communication. In the previous subtopic we discussed the simple reality of what people “want” in communication, namely; meaningful exchanges that are relatively predictable or, at least, comfortable. When queried on the elements that set a discussion apart as meaningful, two single aspects are most often isolated: sincerity and authenticity. Conveying both of these traits is crucial in assertive communication, and both can be heightened by implementing the right nonverbal cues. Maintaining appropriate eye contact, adopting an open and relaxed posture, and using facial expressions that align with the natural ebbs and flows of the conversation all contribute to the impression that one is being sincere and authentic. This, in turn, enhances feelings of trust and credibility, helping to establish an authentic connection that is founded on mutual respect. Tone of voice is also especially crucial at this stage in the development of a relationship and, indeed, thereafter. An assertive communicator’s steady tone communicates confidence and conviction. We are inclined to believe that they understand, and can truly stand behind, everything that they are saying. Conversely, assertiveness is undermined by a shaky or uncertain tone of voice. Nonverbal cues, furthermore, tie very heavily into the themes discussed in the previous subtopic. When we explored active listening, the importance of participation by the listener was underlined. This could include simple nonverbal cues such as nodding, maintaining eye contact, and other attentive behaviours, all of which demonstrate a person’s investment in what the other person is saying. By extension, the naturally inclusive attitude of the assertive communicator shines through in behaviours such as these, as they are generating more space for voices within the group that may otherwise have gone unheard. With this in mind, we will now return to the topic of active listening; this time, specifically how it can be incorporated into the communication repertoire of the assertive communicator.
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy NzYwNDE=