74 | COSERE Thus far, we have made mention several times to the concept of boundaries in interpersonal relationships; namely, concerning the aggressive communicator’s inability to acknowledge them, whilst a passive communicator may unwittingly allow their boundaries to be crossed in the interest of avoiding confrontation. The establishment of clear and healthy boundaries, a key component in developing and maintaining healthy relationships, is made far easier by promoting an assertive communication style. The clarity and openness inherent in this approach neatly sidestep the problem that many passive communicators face, namely, not sufficiently explaining their needs or feelings. At the same time, it also contributes to a feeling on the part of the other party to the communication that they have had their boundaries and needs acknowledged and respected - something which is lacking when an aggressive communication style is adopted. As a result, misunderstandings are far less likely to arise when assertiveness is employed, contributing to the creation of an environment of trust and mutual understanding. This essentially produces a foundation of respect, which is vital in developing and maintaining healthy relationships. Furthermore, the benefits of assertiveness can be demonstrated in situations that require interpersonal conflict resolution. Unfortunately, conflicts in life are inevitable, whether personal or professional. Accordingly, when they occur, they should be handled in such a way that both parties leave feeling acknowledged, respected, and with a clear roadmap for how things will pan out after the fact. This is essential when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships. In the previous half of this unit, we mentioned the problem-solving mindset associated with an assertive communication style. These words alone go some way in defining the key distinction that crowns assertive communicators as champions of navigating conflict; they approach misunderstandings, from the beginning, to solve the problem. An aggressive communicator might posit the other party to the conflict as the problem, believing that it is only through the achievement of their own goals that a resolution will be achieved. A passive communicator, on the other hand, will generally view the conflict itself as the problem, hoping that they can de-escalate the confrontation as quickly as possible so that normalcy can reign once more. An active communicator, however, will recognise the problem for what it is; more often than not, a consequence of a miscommunication or misunderstanding. Thus “removed” from the issue, viewing the other party to the conflict as a peer with their own unique perspective and reasons for feeling the way that they do, and with the clarity offered by their own self-assurance, the active communicator is uniquely poised to remedy the issue.
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