COSERE | 77 • Active Listening in Assertiveness: Balancing speaking and listening for effective communication. When we discussed the pre-eminence of active listening in communication in the previous subtopic, we quoted the work of Rost and Wilson, who unambiguously noted that “Listening is now rightfully considered to be the foundation of communication ability” (Rost & Wilson, 2013). From what we have discovered throughout the current subtopic, we now recognise that assertive communication represents the healthiest and most efficient style of communication. By combining the two, we achieve a level of effective communication that many have long aspired to. This development, however, is a marathon, not a sprint! Don’t expect to be able to integrate all the theory into your daily life as soon as you turn over the final page of this module. Instead, start by “sprinkling in” some of the tips and techniques and gradually increasing the frequency of their use over time. By doing this, we set realistic expectations for ourselves, and over time, what once felt forced becomes a habit and, finally, feels completely natural. Think of active listening as a sort of bridge between assertive expression and receptiveness. The keyword here is “active”, an adjective that accurately reflects the raison d’être of assertive communication, which exists primarily in the “here and now”. Assertive communication, as previously described, is less concerned with attributing blame or fleeing from confrontation or conflict, focusing instead on addressing problems as they arise. Active listening, similarly, requires mindfulness and a willingness to be present in the moment, allowing active listeners to respond thoughtfully to what is being communicated. Both concepts, accordingly, work in tandem with one another to maximise the effective communication of the practitioner. Furthermore, individuals whose contributions are listened to actively are more likely to be left with the impression that they were truly “heard” and that the listener was genuine and respectful, which, in turn, contributes to the foundational bedrock of respect described as a pivotal consequence of assertive communication. So, the synergy between the two concepts speaks for itself, but when it comes to actually integrating active listening alongside assertive communication, where do we even begin? It all starts with learning how to strike the correct balance between speaking and listening and using the opportunities we have when we do communicate to do so in as effective a way as possible. Effective communication is essentially like a sort of dance. It is collaborative, and both parties must move in sync with one another to achieve the best outcome. Khanna refers to this aspect of communication as “twin participation” (Khanna, 2020). Sufficient room must be provided for one
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